In honor of the impending New Year’s Eve, when people of all faiths and beliefs can get soused and shit-faced with any and all of the strangers in this merry town, I would like to provide you with 73 other terms for the common effects of an excess of imbibed spirits. May you employ them in the best of health (or at least without puking in your neighbor’s lap).
evan :: Dec.29.2003 :: NetBits :: 1 Comment »
As a result of my super-dee-dooper new cell phone, I’ve got a new number for you all to take down:
But, you say, you have been talking all this shit at us about number portability, and how it is a Good Thing and no one need ever change their number again. Why do you not port your old number to the new phone? I hear this, but I just do not want the old 347 number. The fact of the matter is that my bourgeois conceits have led me to believe that a 347 area code is beneath me. I am a child of 212 and I will not be beholden to an area code that is too young to be potty-trained. The damn thing didn’t exist until I was in college, and it’s the third overlay on the New York area. If area codes are going to have little to with geography (and soon nothing at all to do with it), then I at least want one with some history, FFS.
917 makes me feel much better than 347 ever could; this number of mine has been through plenty of devices, I’m sure. From pagers to car phones, 917 was the currency of the wireless realm for many moons, and my nifty number, only needing three keys, could have been used by kings and princes (or him).
This is not intended as a diatribe against those with 347 numbers. I only wish to lead by example; to show the huddled masses that there is an escape from the ‘freedom’ of number portability. It is merely a choice each man must make: to knuckle under to the system which keeps the good numbers in blocks for fat cats and corporate exchanges, or to cast off the shackles of 347 and say you deserve better. You have nothing to lose but a wack-ass phone number.
evan :: Dec.15.2003 :: Notices :: 13 Comments »
OK, I have no intention of turning this blog into “Hot Dealz fo’ the Holidayz”, but this is just free money: Amazon is selling the Sony Ericsson T616 for -$150 after rebates. Not a typo, no. They want to give you an excellent phone and 150 bills to be an AT&T customer. Admittedly, it’s with a 2-year contract. Even with a 1-year contract, though, you’d still get $75 back. I’ve just ordered one. If you are free of contract and prone to liking $150 I suggest you do the same.
You’ll also get a free Bluetooth headset, which would be six ways to super if it wasn’t bar none the most ridiculous looking appendage a man can buy in these modern times. One might graciously refer to it as a ‘technoslug’. It accomplishes the highly difficult task of making your EAR look fat, and unpleasantly asymmetrical to your other ear to boot. It is a gift from the future, where everyone tools about in Bluetooth-enabled fattycarts and thinks nothing of it. In the here and now, though, it makes you look ridiculous. I know it’s free, but just keep it indoors. Use it outside on peril of getting the stupid smacked out of you.
evan :: Dec.08.2003 :: NetBits :: 1 Comment »
