Law n Thangs

I know McSweeney’s can be seen as an oppressively hip and elitist entity, but these features are lovely regardless:

Inaugural Speeches from our Action Heroes.
Face it; we’ve never had a leader with such brazen confidence under fire as Lion-O.

The Dick and Jane Reader for Advanced Students
Contemporary instructional fiction just ain’t got that home-cooked flavor anymore.

Words and Expressions Commonly Misused by Insipid Brothers-in-Law
I will hereby be adding “callous shitwheel” to my library of invective. I believe it has a bright future with me.

evan :: Nov.26.2003 :: NetBits :: 2 Comments »

Time for the daily Via Metafilter link, boys and girls! Today it’s music reviews by small children. I prefer the opinions of kindergarteners, but fifth graders have some insight, too.

evan :: Nov.13.2003 :: NetBits :: 1 Comment »

My nominee for dumbest business idea ever. I mean, c’mon people. Seriously.

If you can’t see the problem, if this sounds like a ‘cute gift’ to you, it’s too late for you. Report for pre-emptive sterilization tomorrow, after which I will bash your head in for being such a blight on humanity.

evan :: Nov.12.2003 :: NetBits :: 24 Comments »

Somebody tell me how this is OK (via MetaFilter). Time magazine publishes an essay by George Bush Sr. and Brent Scowcroft entitled “Why We Didn’t Remove Saddam”, and then, years later, selectively remove it from their site, ostensibly because they didn’t have the publisher’s permission to sell that article on their site. Yet Time routinely excerpts books in its issues. I’m not sure I believe that online reprint rights aren’t part of that contract, but if they are, fine. Then it’s Alfred A. Knopf who needs to be shitted upon. They are the publishers of the book excerpted, and strong-arming Time into pulling the story from its archive AND the table of contents for that issue is pure crap. To imagine that the online excerpt did not help the sales of Bush and Scowcroft’s book doesn’t make any sense, and depriving the public at large of an important piece of reasoning about the US invading/not invading Iraq is a miserable moral failure on their part.

What annoys me the most is that the article was probably squelched because of the Junior/Senior relationship, when the real issue is that a recent American President who was on the brink of invading Iraq enumerated all the (excellent) reasons why he turned back.

evan :: Nov.12.2003 :: NetBits :: 6 Comments »

Upon scouring my site access statistics, I have discovered that I am the proud creator of the first link returned when Googling for “horse classical music”.

While this is not entirely unexpected, I feel I have to apologize to the poor souls who Felt Lucky in their quest for a recording of “Air for G String” performed by a chorus of Lipizzaner Stallions. If it exists anywhere, that where is not here. Also, Beethoven’s rare “Sonata for Ponies” must be found elsewhere. In fact, if you have come here as a horse enthusiast, a hippolate if you will, then I suggest you leave. I offer nothing but derision and mockery of the very name of the beast you worship, so please, go get comfortable elsewhere.

evan :: Nov.11.2003 :: Notices :: No Comments »

(click for a larger image)

It is subtle, and yet it rings with the sonorous tones of Truth Almighty, rekindling my faith that there is Good in the world.

Let’s give credit where credit is due: art direction by Bill Whitney; writing by Scott Jorgensen; illustration by George Peters; done for Fuji Ya by Kruskopf Olson Advertising in Minneapolis. This scan was from The One Show awards book, where this ad won a Silver Award for Collateral: Point of Purchase and In-Store.

evan :: Nov.05.2003 :: Notices :: 3 Comments »

I promise, soon I will stop using exclamation points in my entry titles. This deserves them, though (via MetaFilter, really only worth it if you’ve got a fast connection).

Yes, it’s Japanese. No, I don’t know what the hell it’s about, or why someone obviously spent days of their life on it. It is however, most certainly Japanese.

evan :: Nov.03.2003 :: NetBits :: 3 Comments »