Law n Thangs » NetBits

If You Scared, Say You Scared

evan — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:56:19 +0000

On a related note, if you understand why this is funny, then we can be friends.

Why Microsoft/Yahoo! is a perfect match

evan — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 20:04:45 +0000

“The shrieky, out-of-tune verbiage and garish illustrations resemble my friends’ failed attempts to write books for children.”

-Valleywag’s Paul Boutin on Yahoo’s page design.

We could say all the same things about Clippy, couldn’t we? The crucifixions of interface design that these two companies have perpetrated in the name of branding deserve to be ghettoized together; I’m just happy that now I’ll have only one big source of web services to avoid.

In deference to Microsoft’s complete dominance of this deal, though, let’s dispense with the “Microhoo!” abbreviation and just go for “Microsoft!”, which captures exactly how much this deal is really worth to Redmond. If you must, you can write it in Yahoo’s silly font, but please, no purple.

UPDATE: Slate’s Chris Wilson is down with my slang.

More members of MySpace than Mexicans in Mexico

evan — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 02:22:29 +0000

There’s an avalanche of alliterations for you. It’s also a vaguely astonishing fact; the numbers involved don’t really surprise me, but it reminds me that MySpace is reaching almost too broadly. When everyone’s on there, and everyone is everyone’s friend, then everyone just has a blog. Not a bad thing, to be sure, but Blogger and WordPress do it better, without nearly as much godawful Javascript “pimping”.

Not “Only in New York” but much more common here

evan — Fri, 17 Jun 2005 19:58:41 +0000

I’m sure the more internet-addicted of you have known about this for a while, but the chance that some of you haven’t compels me to post it:

Overheard in New York

It’s exactly what it sounds like, and it’s not perfect. Some of the snippets are not funny. Some of them are perhaps not even real. But some of them are so profound I want to do cartwheels of wonderment. I’ll give you one of my (and their) favorites to start:

Dumb teen: Hey, look at this! It says “Train for jobs in beeyotch.”
Smarter teen: Fool! That word is biotech. Why you gotta be ignorant all your life?
–1 train

Yes, Master, I Consent

evan — Fri, 20 May 2005 21:37:05 +0000

Just a brief note: this type of thing needs to happen more often. We can’t be supposing that we understand the infinite mysteries of these electro-magic brainboxes that we call our “computers”.

A champion is born.

evan — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 20:44:39 +0000

Check here for the new Most Ridiculous Song Ever (bottom of the list, though there’s competition at the top). The fact that it is a remix of one of the other Top 10 Most Ridiculous Songs might seem unfair, but I really think that Mr. Kelly and the Cash Money Millionaires rose to new levels of foolishness here, especially with the blink-blonk-blink ‘Japanese’ noises in the beat and Mr. Kelly’s repeated random proclamations of “soo much money”.

The fact that this has rocketed to the upper reaches of my Most Played playlist in iTunes should in no way be interpreted as a blanket endorsement of booty-feeling. I continue to believe that booty-feeling is only appropriate in an environment of mutual respect and consent, although the presence of money in amounts equal to or exceeding “soo much” shall be recognized as implicit consent.

A long overdue PSA

evan — Thu, 17 Mar 2005 19:39:09 +0000

I’ve been sitting on this for a few weeks, but I thought I should share it with all of you who have been desperately wondering what I thought about the beef between 50 Cent and The Game:

50 Cents Does More Shit On NYC Radio That I Don’t Give A Fuck About.

Mr. SergDun has graciously seen fit to cover almost everything that is wrong with the world of hip hop in this fair city. Not only does he make the all-important point that Hot97 is garbage, but he specifically points out that Funkmaster Flex is the head garbageman, spewing useless nonsense directly into our ears every day via the trunk-mounted woofers of Escalades everywhere. “#1 Station of Gossiping Bitches”, indeed. Well done, Serg, well done.

Buck buck! Two shots of florescent nanocrystals for that azzz

evan — Thu, 17 Mar 2005 00:32:32 +0000

Hunter roolz, Stuy droolz! HCHS senior David Bauer laid waste to the competition in this year’s Intel Science Talent Search. Not only did he devise a new method of neurotoxin screening, but the boy is raising funds for Liberia! Looks like he fell prey to Asumana’s glorious influence in the lab rooms, though not on the soccer field.

Time to add one to the ol’ list of prestigious alumni, and wallow in the sheer magnitude of how not on it I am.

God Bless These Internets

evan — Thu, 11 Nov 2004 15:45:03 +0000

Why didn’t we think of this in college? How many brains does it take to put together the fact that Britas use a charcoal filter with all the advertisements for fine “charcoal-filtered” spirits? All that Popov and Georgi has rotted my gut in vain!

(via MetaFilter)

Two other things are funny: Google “cheap vodka” and Feel Lucky. Also, check out Boris Yeltsin’s campaign promises.

The problem with this country…

evan — Wed, 20 Oct 2004 19:03:17 +0000

is that I can’t be sure our President won’t do this.