Not “Only in New York” but much more common here
I’m sure the more internet-addicted of you have known about this for a while, but the chance that some of you haven’t compels me to post it:
It’s exactly what it sounds like, and it’s not perfect. Some of the snippets are not funny. Some of them are perhaps not even real. But some of them are so profound I want to do cartwheels of wonderment. I’ll give you one of my (and their) favorites to start:
Dumb teen: Hey, look at this! It says “Train for jobs in beeyotch.”
Smarter teen: Fool! That word is biotech. Why you gotta be ignorant all your life?
–1 train
evan :: Jun.17.2005 :: NetBits :: 1 Comment »
Man, you been holding out on me. My favorite so far is:
Store guy: An autographed bat?
Caribbean guy: I’m not paying fifty dollars for no bat.
Store guy: What do you need the bat for?
Caribbean guy: I just really need to bash someone’s head in, you know what I’m saying?
Store guy: You don’t need a Jason Giambi bat for that. Any of these bats can be used for bashing someone in the head.
–Triangle Sports, Flatbush
Although I’m also quite partial to this one:
Senior VP on phone: No, you can’t order Chilean sea bass anymore! They’re all bred artificially in ponds. The real ones are going extinct out of sheer deliciousness.
–Madison Avenue office
They’re both so true.